Yes and no. Babies have stretch receptors in their stomachs that "talk" to their brains (as do we grownups) that say "whoa….slow down there big fella, we've had enough." This is when we put down the fork, quietly unbutton our pants, and push away from the table to digest. There's a sphincter at the bottom of our esophagus/top of our stomach that holds our stomach contents down but in babies that sphincter isn't quite developed, thus they can often spit up (sometimes when overly full, sometimes when jostled or laid down for a diaper change, etc.). This is normal and usually not distressing to the infant. We call this baby a "happy spitter".
For those who like numbers and data, bottles are very appealing because you can SEE how much is left and we find it satisfying to see the bottle empty (and we think "Maybe if I top them off they will sleep longer").
If baby (who is full-term, healthy and growing) is clearly sleeping and/or pursing their lips or turning their head away, but you persist on getting that 1/2 oz. in, then technically, "yes" you are probably overfeeding them a bit. And I get it. You've worked hard to pump that milk out and/or you paid a lot for that formula and you don't want to waste it.
Usually it only takes one major spit up onto a parent's favorite shirt for them to learn not to do that in the future. You learn quickly the stomach capacity of your infant, the hard way.
When feeding directly from the breast/chest, though, it's hard to overfeed them. They simply slide off/pop off, get on with their day or start a nice nap when they are full and sated. However, although it's harder to overfeed a breastfed baby, I'm here to tell you it IS possible.
Back in 1997, when my son was about 6 weeks old I had a little doula/lactation business (The Tenth Month) and I decided to go to a La Leche League meeting (a breastfeeding support group) where I could network with other people in this field. I was eager to get together with others who were as "in love" with the childbearing year as I was. It was an evening meeting and he became fussy, as he often did in the evenings, during his "wind down" time. Because I was at this meeting with lots of attachment parenting culture floating around, I imagined they would expect me to just nurse him if he was fussy….so I did.
I really (down deep in my wise bones) didn't think he was hungry, and at home alone I would have tried some other comfort measure to calm him. But here, I felt others would have judged me for NOT offering my breast. So, I offered and offered (looking back, he was shaking his head at my boob but I kept shoving it in his face until he latched) and he ate and ate and ate until the moment when he couldn't eat any more. Then, without warning, he abruptly projectile vomited onto the cute, new outfit I bought just for this meeting. I sighed and tried not to cry. And then I surrendered.
I was trying so hard to portray an image of this all-giving "natural" breastfeeding mother while trying so hard to promote my business that I ignored my own inner knowing AND my son's communication efforts; he was trying to tell me "I don't want more milk, mama, I just need to cuddle with you....without all these loud people around." But I wanted to fit in with the other mothers, doing what they did, which was to offer the breast any time baby fussed.
I wanted to show how "responsive" I was to my breastfeeding infant. But the truth is, I was ignoring his cues. He just wanted to suck for comfort, but because I had a plethora of milk he couldn't latch on without being water-boarded with my strong let-down.
So, a well-placed pacifier would have worked better in that moment. He usually sucked on it (when he was tired) for about 15 seconds then would drift off to sleep and it would fall out. But pacifiers were frowned upon back then (maybe just in this group?). I didn't see ANY other mother using one, so I didn't dare pull mine out. I can so clearly see now how peer pressure influenced me in that moment. I wanted to be liked. I wanted people to refer their clients to me for breastfeeding help. I put a lot of pressure on myself, really.
I can't know for sure if any of these mothers weren't closet-pacifier-users as well. They may have felt relieved if I had brought one out in that moment, as that would have given THEM "permission" to use one, too.
So, is it possible to overfeed a breastfed infant? Yes, but it takes ignoring their "cues", like I did. Typically, a breastfed infant, when they are feeling sated, will slow down, and slide into a "drunken sailor" state and it will be obvious. And if you try to offer again, and they just open their mouth but shake their head at you, clearly upset (or just purse their lips closed) this just may be them trying to tell you "Thanks, but no thanks."
Babies don't speak English, but they are "speaking" to you ALL the time with their faces/foreheads/body language/certain cries, so if you're ever wondering what they need in the moment, just study them and try various things until you "hit" on what they needed in that moment. Over time you'll learn their "baby language" I promise. And in the process, you'll gain your confidence to trust how/when/if you feed your baby, even in a group or social setting.
Because truthfully, I probably wasn't being judged by any of those people. It was mainly a story I made up in my own head about what a "good" nursing mother would do. Luckily, we are always able to change what stories we listen to. Lesson learned.
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